Saying your food has Omega-3's and Protein

Just saw a commercial for Barilla pasta. They claim their pasta has Omega-3 fats and protein. WOW. HOW BRILLIANT. Sadly, people will buy that product on that basis alone. Really?

Dry Skin

I hate using lotion, so this is a double whammy for me.

Paying for refills

You only gave me half a cup of Diet Pepsi in the first place, considering you packed the cup so full of ice.

AND, if you are going to charge me for a refill Bojangles (10 cents) and I give you a quarter, yes I would like my change back. That's another refill and a half that I'd be giving up, are you out of your mind????

People at churches running food drives who try to get me to donate while I am running

Seriously? I mean, yeah I usually keep canned goods on my person at all times anyways, ESPECIALLY when I'm running down the street, but it's Saturday for pete's sake.

Really.

Forgetting my toothbrush

Breath will be AWESOME tomorrow.

Fat personal trainers

Why? Why would you work in a gym if you were grotesquely out of shape, and furthermore, why in the Hell would you take personal training sessions for someone who is out of shape? What is the point? People are just dumb.

Hand cramps when you're typing

It hurts right now ... stupid hand.

People who fart on treadmills

Really?  Can you really not hold it?  You do realize that there are a dozen other people around you who are trying their best to stay in the zone and power through a workout, and then you drop that?  You do know how deadly the sweat + fart combo can be yes?  

I wish you dead.

New York City's Weather

Please just get cold or stay warm. I am confused every morning by what amount of clothing I need to get me through the day comfortably. Make up your damn mind.

Drunk ECU Fans

Blindsiding my friend and giving him a black eye + 6 stitches. Bastards.

Chewing gum until your jaws hurts

What else was I supposed to do on the plane? They don't give you and decent food anymore (or any food at all). Now I can't fully enjoy all the real food I'll be eating tonight. This better heal up before the grill gets fired up. Dammit.

"Soft" toilet paper

I'd rather just use sandpaper.  What's the point?  It's like trying to use dandelion seed heads as q-tips.  

Leaving your keys at the office

I assume cancer is less annoying than this.  What a 180 from the euphoria of walking towards home, knowing you are about to plop your ass down on a couch and mindlessly watch cartoons for an hour before passing out, to having to repeat the act of getting yourself to work.

If I worked at a candy factory, or a hot girl factory, or a beer factory, then returning to work would be no problem.  Alas, such is not the case.

NC State Football

Why I am getting so excited about the game this weekend? Why do I always set myself up for utter disappointment?

Referees admitting they made a mistake but not being able to actually overturn said mistake

Seriously?  How stupid can the rules be?  During the Chargers - Broncos game yesterday (vested interest in the success of Philip Rivers), a game-changing play occurred which would have won the game for the Chargers.  Instead, the referee made the incorrect call, and because of some stupid NFL rules, the call could not be changed, even though he announced that he had in fact made the wrong call.  

Is it just me, or is there something wrong with that?  That makes no sense at all!  Dammit.

Golf advertisements during football games

Seriously? Do you think your average NFL football fan is going to tune in for a 3 day snoozefest when one 3 hour football game includes more excitement and testosterone than all the Masters' tournaments in history combined?

Poor audience targeting.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, SAYING THE WORD CRUCIAL

Shit. I am doomed. Watching football highlights earlier today, I used the word "crucial" to describe a last-second field goal for South Florida which won their game.

It came out of my mouth involuntarily. I had no control.

My friend tried to console me by saying "that actually made sense, that was a moment utmost importance to the game". I agreed, but I was not using the word for that. I did not predetermine that that this moment was important. I just wanted to say the kick was awesome.

I fail. Ugh. I blame having a few beers before 10:30 a.m.

The Word Crucial

When used as a synonym for "intense", "awesome", "brutal", "difficult", you get the picture. It just doesn't make any sense. I thought this word had died years ago when the surf craze died (mostly propagated by those who did not live within 300 miles of a body of water to actually surf on).

DIE CRUCIAL DIE.

Meetings

I laughed at people (adults) who had office jobs before me, complaining about meetings, complaining about their micro-managing boss (which I actually don't have), meetings being scheduled on Fridays, all of that good stuff.

Now I know. Meetings suck. Unless you're looking for an easy way to kill your day. Then they're great. If you really want to get any work done? Forget it.

Not being able to poop when I know I have to

What a tease. Nothing makes me angrier.

I'M BACK BITCHES

That is all.