People who don't dress up on Halloween

DIE.

Hardcore kids

For the 2nd time. Beating each other up is not "dancing". You also look very stupid going to a concert in gym shorts. Losers.

Web services

Please don't ask.

Web services

Please don't ask.

Not owning an umbrella

Especially after just getting out of the shower. Nothing like getting soaked with dirty water. I love life.

RiteAid

Why do you have to be so busy at lunch? Why do you make me waste my time and force me to put all my things back on the shelves before stomping off, unable to cross a task off of my daily list?

Time Warner Cable in New York

There are more football games on TV. Why do you not allow me to watch them? I utterly despise you.

Thinking it's a good idea to take easy and then regretting that decision

Boring night.

People who do not celebrate Halloween for an entire week

I hate you. With a passion.

Shoes

Mine are all old and falling apart, but they all "look good". I don't want to go through the trouble of trying new ones on. I know I need to. But I just can't bring myself to do so.

TV channels NOT showing horror movies during the month of October

For hell's sake people, come on. What else do people want to watch? It's too early for Christmas specials, and baseball is over (thank god).

Everything

It's just one of those days. BALLS.

Nights where the Bronx are not playing live in my city

Do I really have to wait one more night to see the Bronx again? What ever will I do with myself this evening?

Sunday mornings off of my couch

I shouldn't be up this early.

Sweating

My armpits are a wreck right now. Thank god I get to travel 2 hours in a stuff airplane with them.

Joe the Plumber

Who gives a damn?

The term "smarty-pants"

While the girl working the desk at the gym this morning meant nothing by it (well she meant SOMETHING obviously), the term always rubbed me the wrong way. It's just beyond annoying. Please, help me to kill this term.

Armpit odor while working out

It makes it really difficult to concentrate. All I do is smell myself instead of focusing on the task at hand.

T Mobile and Sprint

Why can't you people get some reception down at my parents' house? I mean, I enjoy being disconnected and all, but once in a while making a phone call or sending a text would be kinda nice.

My dad's wireless router

It's pretty weak. I can't lay on the couch and watch TV while working as I had originally planned. Not his fault, but I have to complain somewhere.

Jesus (at times)

Why did you have to make stores I like be closed on Sunday or not open until 1 p.m.? Some of our lives do not revolve around the church schedule. I see no reason why I can't buy organic cranberry extract vitamins before 1 p.m. on a Sunday. Or work on my pectorals before 1 p.m.

Work calling me at 8 a.m. on a Saturday for producation issues that aren't actually my problem

I can't win ...

Having to take my laptop out of the bag while going through airport security

Why? Why why why why why?

Trying to decide whether to find a public restroom, or bank on you making it home in time

I usually lose the gamble when I think I have the fortitude to hold out. Past experience has taught me get it over with, you'll be happiest. Your pants will thank you.

Alarms that allow me to hit snooze for an hour and a half

I want my alarm to detect what is truly best for me. Either shut off completely and let me get an extra hour or so of sleep, or electrocute my ass so I will actually get up and be productive when I really need to do so. Stupid alarms.

Forcing me to purchase 8 dollars worth of dessert when all I want its about 4

I would love a scoop of sorbet please. I do not need 4.

Having to take the subway home in the middle of an important meeting just to get my glasses

Because my left eye yet again is out to get me. That rat bastard.

Inhaling little pieces of cigar wrapper

Those things are quite annoying when lodged in your throat. Ugh.

The fact that I can drink as much as I do

My poor liver. I should not be alive right now, or at least able to walk.

Bars which allow smoking indoors

I guess I should really be mad at the state that sets those laws, but I love North Carolina. However, I do not love smelling like a smokestack upon returning home from bars.

Headaches

Especially when you have to stare at a computer screen for 10 hours a day. Jeez.

Grease

Keep it off of my food please. K thanks.

Limits on Credit Card purchase at stores

I can't imagine it costs more than a cent for each credit card transaction. I shouldn't have to buy 4 drinks when I only want 1 just to be able to use my credit card. Fascists!