Spilling coffee on my white t shirt

The minute I sit down. REALLY damn annoying.

No Wifi in the airport

What the hell else do you expect me to do with a computer and two wifi-enabled devices? Play cards with them? Share my feelings with them? Sip a cappuccino with 'em?

Moody receptionists

I'm sorry that your "system" is down so you can't look up my appointment time this morning, but for Christ's sake, I didn't do it. I wish I had now, but at the time, I didn't do it. Calm down people.

Cracked skin on my hands during winter

Which bleeds every now and then. I hate using lotion too, so I'm in a catch-22. Dammit.

Changing my address

It should be much easier. I know the post office is supposed to forward the new address to senders (if you sign up for their service), but it never seems to work quite right. Pain in my ass.

Getting a large amount of a certain dish from the buffet because it looks awesome, then realizing it sucks

All that plate real estate, wasted.

Waking up with a sore throat even when you're not sick

I sound like an old lady who smokes in the morning. I do not like that.

Flight Delays

I knew it would happen tonight.

Washing clothes

My night is now altered because I have no gym socks left. Clothes need to be more efficient, need to be self-cleaning.

Heating pipes in NYC

They're very loud. There is a very large one above my head at work. I have to blast death metal to drown it out. Not necessarily a bad thing, but even I can take only so much death metal.

Old door men

You're taking way too long to sign me in. I don't need a security badge for a 2 second visit. And stop calling me "buddy". I ain't your fucking buddy.

Moving

Enough said.

Headphones that don't have the ears labeled

Simple conveniences go a long way to make your customers happy. This is a simple thing. Why you cannot do it, I do not know. I hate you.

People who capitalize the word "god"

god god god god god god. I don't think god is upset with my not wanting to use the shift key.

Not being able to vote at any polling place

I know they have to keep the order somehow, but come on. What's it gonna hurt?

"Free" text messages from you cell phone carrier

WOW thanks! A free message from you, bothering the shit out of me. Just what I needed today. You rule T-Mobile!

Head colds

It hurts to think. That is not a good thing.

The end of Halloween

My life is now officially over.