Hipsters who wear v neck t-shirts with stupid slogan tattoos on their chests

You're just annoying. Go back home to mom and dad in the burbs and leave Williamsburg to people who actually want to live there and aren't just there for the image.

Coffee shakes

I got 'em right now. They're kinda fun in the sense that I feel kinda "high", but I can't really focus on anything for more than a few seconds at a time. It took all the energy I have just to get this post typed out.

Rollerblades

Just one of those things.

When a restaurant forgets something in your carryout order and you're already far away when you discover it

I was missing a salad last night with my chicken burger. The whole point of getting the salad was that I had a very unhealthy weekend and could have used some greens in my life. I was already home and back in relaxation mode when I discovered it, so alas, I went greenless.

People who laugh at something they say before someone else laughs, or any acknowledgement that what they said might be funny

I'm not sure where in your life the part of your brain that determines when it's appropriate to laugh got all mangled, but it did. Best solution? Stop telling shitty jokes.

Coffee grinds in the bottom of your coffee

Not a pleasant surprise when you're going in for the last few drops.

Discovering a stray hair immediately after you've shaved

And already put the razor and such away. You can just pull the hair out, but still the lack of perfection will haunt you for minutes, maybe even hours.

Losing the umbrella gamble

To take or not to take your umbrella with you on the way to work. I lost miserably today, and will spend the first few hours today drying.

Squeaky shoes

I'm not sure if it's a combination of the weather, or sock choice, or walking surface. But I hate when a perfectly awesome pair of shoes that I love squeak all the way down the hall. Woe is me.

People who don't mute their phones during meetings

I really want to punch you in the face when you make me lose my train of thought.

People who walk around with umbrellas to shield the sun

Stop. You look stupid. Also, it takes energy to hold up an umbrella. You're defeating the purpose.

People who wear huge bookbags on the subway

And don't pay attention while pushing their way around the car.

Several things can go wrong when these people go wild:

• Drinks can be spilled (not theirs, other peoples')
• I can be pushed and lose my place in my book
• You can be stuck in the back with things sticking out of the bookbag, like pencils and pens etc.

Getting coughed on on the way to work

In the subway no less. Good job at not covering your mouth that well, asshole.

Not being in the right mindset yet to get back to work after a vacation

It's a waste of everyone's time all around.

People who don't embrace national holidays

Some people at work are upset about the fact that we have a short week, and there's not enough time to get work done.

Be flexible and deal with it. People like that need to be forced home every once in a while anyways.

Having something stuck in your teeth, with no floss within reach

Not just the fact that there's essentially rotting food hanging out in my mouth. It's the oh-so-subtle pressure of something between the teeth, pushing them apart ever so slightly. I feel violated.

This can literally drive me insane. I've left work/parties/dinner before just to procure some floss from the drug store.